yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
