I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
