I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool