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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.

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