Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?