I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.