Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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