Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
