Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
All the doctor said was why
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
