On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
