Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
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he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
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I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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