i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How external is "for external use only"?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize