Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
