She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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