i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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