Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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