The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize