At least make sure they are 18
Why
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize