I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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