summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
