She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
