And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
