i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
