He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
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I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
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The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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