I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
