In the future we'll all be gay
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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