so that wasnt chicken after all
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
