Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
