everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
