it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
