you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
