You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
