on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
