Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
