yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
