he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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