you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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