i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
