if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I can text with my tongue
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
