i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize