Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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