I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
