The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
