bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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