I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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