I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
