Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
