do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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