if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize