My room smells like vodka and shame
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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