Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
