Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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