remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
