i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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