if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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