i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
