its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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