i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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