Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
