I wannas sexs uuuuu
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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