come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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