Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
