So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
