Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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