I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
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Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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