My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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